Matka Theory

As every normal guy, I also like to see beautiful faces around me when I wake up in morning .I also like to hear euphonious flow of words which are poured into my ears. But what I get to hear is the cacophony of some “aliens” and the retro hits being played in full volume during early morning. These are the same songs which we used to watch in childhood on chitrahaar. You can see these aliens almost everywhere & now thanks to our new hostel accommodation scheme the “almost” has turned into “definitely”.

The problem is not just that we see their tanned & dark complexioned faces in the early hours but we have to survive that torture whole day. Whether it is bathroom, corridors, mess, departments & not to forget RP, they can be found everywhere. While I have always believed that people do learn with time, but I think they don’t believe this. Why they are not provided different hostels so that those who are human beings do not get affected by their matkagiri?

You walk through the corridor; you get to find some matka talking to his wife:

Matka: aur khana bana liya?

Mrs Matka: haan bana liya hain par namak jyada hain dal mein

Matka: toh thoda pani daal lo na. dilute ho jayega.( yes I study in IIT!!)

Mrs Matka: arre who toh daal diya par ab dal patli ho gayi hain.woh kya kehte hain non-viscous ho gayi hain. (damn how did he get there?)

Matka: achcha monu ko doodh pila diya?

Mrs Matka: haan haan manu ko pila diya.Tum bataon who thermo ka tute ho gaya?

Matka: haan ho toh gaya par Q1 , Q6 aur Q9 nahin hue. humne alpha ki value toh daal di thi par pata nahin efficiency kam kyon aa rahi hain.Achcha chalo hum rakhte hain,time nahin hain.IIT ki padai puri karni hain ki nahin.

Mrs Matka: haan haan.mann laga ke padho.rakhte hain.

(So cute!!!!)

In the early morning, at the time when you think whether you should wash your face or go directly to class, you can find some of them washing their clothes & some of them coming out of bathroom showing off their bare chest. What you can best do is squint your eyes till you come out of your hostel. But then you find them in long queue for breakfast. You can do nothing but to curse yourself. After waiting impatiently, you have your breakfast & then you leave for your classes. There you see not exactly matkas but you can say them" former – matkas". After their bromidic lectures, in the evening, you wish to go canteen & have some refreshments but voila, the devil is everywhere. You then forfeit your pleasure & decide to grab some packed food. Then you have many extra curricular activities going on which thankfully does not involve matkas. Finally you reach your room at late night just to regain some energy for some daunting tasks due next day .But you can’t sleep, not because you are not feeling sleepy but because a matka is not letting you switch off the corridor’s light which is filling your entire room.